Heroism Has Its Perks
by PhantomHeartless5
Summary: Still reeling from the events of Planet Magnus, Nefarious heads to the local burger joint to clear his head. He then recieves advice from the most unlikely of places. Rated T for coarse language. Slight NefariousxCourtney


**This is my first Ratchet and Clank story, a small Nefarious and Courtney Gears story taking place after_ All 4 One_. I do hope you enjoy it. please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Heroism Has its Perks**

"Okay sir, Here is a list of all our progress so far." Lawrence began, holding a small clipboard as he adressed Dr. Nefarious. "So far, we've managed to renovate Ephemeris into a mobile space station with a fully functional cloaking device and defenses."

"Uh-huh." came the doctor's less than enthusiastic reply.

"We've also managed to reprogram all of the collector bots and the Guardians. I recall you were _very_ intrested in the Guardians."

"Uh-huh."

"We've also managed to rebuild some of the old Nefarious Troopers as well, for extra support and all that." Lawrence said.

"Sure, sure." Nefarious replied.

"Oh, and the crew wanted to change the dress code to panties and bras."

"Whatever."

"That was a test, sir."

"Say what?"

"You weren't listening to me, sir." Lawrence said as he put down the clipboard.

"Oh, oh sorry." Nefarious said.

"Is there something wrong?" Lawrence asked, studying the doctor with a puzzled look.

"Nothing's wrong, why?"

"Well, ever since your sojourn on planet Magnus, you've been a mite distracted as of late."

"It's nothing, okay? Now is that all you have to report?" Nefarious asked.

Lawrence knew the doctor was lying, but decided not to press the issue further. Besides, this was a refreshing change as opposed to the doctor's hair-trigger temper. "Yes sir, that is all. Well, I must be off. My band and I have a gig tonight. See you tomorrow, doctor." Lawrence said as he walked out the door.

"Yeah, have fun." Nefarious said. Once he was gone, Nefarious opened the desk drawer and pulled out the picture Susie took of him, Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark. For you see, the doctor _was_ a bit distracted, his processor focused on the events that took place on Planet Magnus. Which brought up the agonizing question: Why the hell hasn't he ripped ths damn picture apart and thrown it across the cosmos? Why was he still thinking about those morons? He was a supervillain! They mean't _nothing_ to him! Besides, they were _squishies! _And not just any squishes, his sworn adversaries! Ratchet and Clank were two no account mechanics who interfered in all his grand schemes, and Qwark, he had been the bane of his existence since high school!

But that is where the confusion began to settle in. For all his proclaimed hatred of them, part of him was beginning to... miss them. Part of him _did_ enjoy their company as well as working with them, fighting enemies side by side. But the part that had drawn the most confusion was when he saved Qwark from the Loki Master. Dr. Nefarious, the most diabolical criminal mastermind in the universe, rescuing his archenemy? The very idea made him shudder with abhorrence. "_I did that to repay a debt_." he thought to himself "_He saved me so I saved him_." That's what his mind kept telling him, but his heart (or the closest thing to a heart) was telling him different.

And then there were Clank's words to him "_Being evil has not worked out well for you these past few years. Perhaps using your intelligence for good would yield better results_?" Those words were both infuriating and ironic. Ironic in the fact that Nefarious had once tried to use his intelligence for good, only to be shunned as a lunatic, thus motivating his life of crime. They were also infuriating in the fact that there was a small grain of truth to his words. Ever since he embarked on his criminal career, his life was just one cataclysmic failure after another. Could Clank be right? Would his life truly be better if he renounced his villainous ways? One thing was for sure, he needed to go somewhere to think, and it was hard to think on an empty stomach.

* * *

Nefarious was at the Galactic Burger drinking a large cup of oil. He loved coming here. It had the best oil and was good for clearing his head. But his concentration was soon broken by a female voice, "Well, well, if is isn't Snookie Wookums. Been a long time." The voice made him spat his oil. There was only one person, robotic or organic, who called him Snookie Wookums. He turned around to see that his suspicions were confirmed. Behind him was a humanoid robot female with grayish skin, yellow eyes, and brown hair with a red headband. she wore a red long sleeved top that showed her belly button and black mini shorts, and red high boots with no heels. This was Courtney Gears, renowned robotic pop star, and Nefarious' ex girlfriend (Though they still kept in touch once and awhile).

"Well, if it isn't Courtney Gears." Nefarious replied. "How's the pop star biz? Still a gold digger?"

The question brought out a small chuckle from the pop star. "That was the old me. After nearly getting killed in a car accident, I looked back over my life and decided that it was time for some changes. I'm still a pop star, just a more nicer one. But enough about me, how's the villain biz?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." Nefarious replied nonchalantly.

"You know, a little birdie told me that you helped save the people of Magnus."

"Who told you that?" Nefarious asked.

"I was invited to a ceremony for Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark. They mentioned you. Why weren't you there? Camera shy?"

"I don't think it would be a good idea for a fugitive to attend a ceremony. Besides, I only helped them to escape Planet Magnus."

"Oh really?" she asked, not believing the act. "Then why do you have a picture of you and the gang?"

"W-What, this?" Nefarious asked, frantic that he'd been found out. "I-I-It's my hit-list!"

"So you were going to kill yourself too?"

"What? No!"

"I also heard you saved Qwark." she said.

"That was nothing." Nefarious retorted. "I saved him because he saved me, that is all."

"I can tell you're lying." Courtney said in a singsong voice.

"FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME IT WAS-!" But before Nefarious could finish the rest of his rant, his face and body froze in place. "Oh Janice, I could never make you happy. My family is a bunch of robot pirate zombies! It's all right Lance. I was raised by a robot pirate zombie!" The raido in Nefarious' brain brodcasted. It was Nefarious' achilles heel. Whenever he got mad or excited his body would freeze in place and his brain would pick up radio signals, usually from Lance and Janice, the soap opera. The only way he could be brought out of it was by smacking him in the head. Lawrence was supposed to fix this glitch, but never got around to it as he found it funny to smack Nefarious in the head.

"He _really_ needs to have that fixed." she mumbled as she smacked Nefarious in the head. "-ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! JUST BECAUSE HE SAVED ME DOSEN'T MEAN WE'RE BUDDIES!" he continued.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You seem pretty happy in that picture."

Nefarious wanted to go into another rant of protest, but instead he hung his head in defeat. "I don't know." he said quietly.

"Uh-huh." she replied. "Look Nef, Clank told me how he tried to get you out of the villain biz and he's right. You could do so much better. You built a machine that turns organics into robots, you built a space station with a laser that coulld destroy the largest asteroid. There's a lot of potential in that green dome of yours. It'd be a shame to see it go to waste on criminal activities.

"But being a villain is all I know. It's the only thing I'm good at."

"Okay, why did you be a villain in the first place?"

"To get revenge on those who mocked me."

"And how has that worked out for you? Have you actually _won_?"

Nefarious lowered his head, unable to answer as the question hit too close to home.

"I rest my case." she concluded.

But before either of them could continue the conversation, A large black robot dressed in a black biker jacket with a matching black helmet barged into the resturant. He walked towards the Terachnoid cashier and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him into the air. In his free hand, the robot pulled out a blaster. "Listen up." it commanded in an electronically gruff tone, "Either hand over all the money in this joint, or it's fried Terachnoid on the menu."

"Hey, put him down." Courtney Gears commanded. The robot biker looked over his shoulder. "Mind your own buisness, bitch." he retorted.

"Take your own advice, bucket butt." she said.

Angered, the robot stormed over towards Courtney and backhanded her across the face. "I said shut the fuck up!" he said as he pointed his blaster at her. Nefarious then rushed in and grabbed the robot by the wrist. "Hey asswipe. That's _not_ how you treat a lady." He then used his free hand to grab the robot's jacket and threw him across the room. The robot got back up and drew his blaster. "You son of a-!" But before the robot could get out what was obviously going to be a nasty expletive, Nefarious used his built in finger laser and knocked the blaster out of his hand. blowing his finger, he said, "Why don't you scram before you end up in the junkyard?"

The robot biker gave a curt laugh at the command. "Like I'm gonna take orders from some poindexter like you."

"Excuse me?" Nefarious asked, offended. Being called a poindexter was his beserk button.

"You heard me."

"No I didn't." Nefarious said as he walked towards the robot, obviously lying.

"Want me to say it again?" By now Nefarious was inches away from the robot's faceplate.

"By all means." he said in a calm tone.

"Poin-dex-aaah!" The robot shouted. Nefarious had used his Annihilator blade to cut the robot's hand off.

"Why you mother-!" Nefarious grabbed the robot by his throat, pinning him to the wall. "Listen up and listen well. I believe you owe this nice lady an apology. Look her in the optics and apologize, _now_."

"I'm sorry ma'am, it won't happen again." The robot said, complying with Nefarious' command.

"It better not, because if I find out you're causing trouble again, I'll knit your circuts into a goddamn sweater. Understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now _scram." _Nefarious said as he released the robot who ran out the resturant in fright, leaking oil.

Nefarious turned around only to be assailed with cheers from the customers. Courtney ran up to him and hugged him tightly. "Way to go, Nef!" she said.

News reporters swarmed in and surrounded the doctor, bombarding him with questions. "Hey, Nefarious!" a reporter called out, "What do you have to say to viewers out there?"

"Just one thing: Heroism has its perks." Nefarious replied as Courtney gave him a small kiss on his cheek.

**THE END!**

* * *

**So ends my tale. I hope you enjoyed it!**


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